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Introduction
The modern world portrays sex and sexuality as goal-oriented things. In movies and most media, sex is portrayed as having an “end goal”, and it affects the way we see sex so much so that when we’re with our partners (or even ourselves), we forget all about the journey that leads us to that blissful big-O. But, did you know, sex isn’t about just the destination? The journey that leads there is extremely important too. If the journey is just right, the destination can be so much better too! That’s what tantric practices are all about; valuing the journey to make the destination more worthwhile. With tantric sex, you can have multiple full-body orgasms and much more. It’s an amazing way to not just be in tune with your partner’s body, but to be in tune with your own body as well. Tantric practices teach you how to be a giving lover, so you can also receive love with an open heart. There are many tantric practices, and our tantric therapist will be able to teach you all about them on our website! This blog will tell you about the very basics of tantric sex and how you can use it to liberate yourself from society’s sexual shackles and be a better lover (to others and yourself). So, let’s dive right into the mesmerizing world of tantra!
What Is Tantra?
“Tantra” comes from the Sanskrit word for “weave”, and that’s exactly what tantric sex does. Tantric practices are all about achieving mindfulness and deep connections through meaningful sex. It’s when you take the physical aspect of sex and interweave it with the spiritual world, therefore “weaving” two souls together. It is the connection between the body and the mind to the spiritual world and serves as a great way to heal (especially from sexual trauma). Tantric sex takes you on a blissful journey of breath-work, embracing, tantric massage, prolonged eye contact with intent and slow, meaningful, deliberate sex to transform you and help you grow spiritually. Tantric practices allow for you and your partner (or you and yourself) to exchange energies in a wholesome, all-encompassing way to lead to healing and spiritual growth.
The Origins Of Tantra
Tantric practices are a part of a spiritual belief system called “Tantra” which originated in India in 600 CE. It is an amalgamation of ancient Buddhist, Hindu, and Jain traditions that aims to focus on mindfulness and connection outside of oneself; in every aspect of life. The tantric belief is that with this focus on mindfulness, true enlightenment can be attained through the alignment of the body’s chakras (energy points).
Classic tantra is still practiced all over the world and has gained massive amounts of popularity since its inception. Western cultures have now adopted tantric practices and have coined “neotantra”, which has been growing in popularity for the last 150 years. Neotantra has the same goal as classic tantra, but with a larger focus on sexual intimacy and tantric practices like tantric sex and tantric massage.
Why Choose Tantric Sex?
There are many benefits that come with tantric practices. Not just physical benefits, but benefits for your mind, body, and soul.
Release Yourself From Expectations: Most people look at sex with certain expectations, like the expectation of penetration, and concerns about reaching climax. Tantric sex helps you throw your expectations out the window and live in the moment. Tantric practices can be enjoyed without penetration, orgasm, or even a partner!
Be Mindful: When you take the time to understand something, you master it better. This holds true with sex as well. When you are mindful of your partner’s needs, and your own needs, sex can be a very blissful non-goal-oriented experience. When you practice tantric sex, you say goodbye to the stress that comes with thinking about the destination, and you learn to enjoy the journey and be in the moment. You take the time out to really be present with yourself and your partner and truly understand one another.
Form Deeper Bonds: Tantric practices can help you take the physical and turn it into spiritual. When you practice tantra, sex isn’t just about two sexual organs meeting. It’s like your souls touch and shake hands and become one. This helps you form deeper connections with your partner (and yourself). You begin to be in the moment and truly understand one another on a cosmic level. Through practices like tantric massage and eye contact, sex makes for an even more intimate experience rather than just a physical one.
Tantra Goes Beyond Sex: Sex is meant to be a thoughtful and mindful interaction, as opposed to being goal-oriented. With tantric sex, you’re able to slow down and be present with yourself and your partner and form a deeper, more thoughtful connection with them. Tantric sex has been known to heal relationships that have had a rough journey because in these intimate moments of eye contact, you’re able to bare your soul to your partner and it usually helps with fixing root issues.
Last Longer In Bed: Tantric practices like tantric massage and “edging” allow you to focus on the sex itself rather than the expectation of orgasm, and this really helps you prolong your intimate moments with your partner.
Heal Holistically: Tantra has been known to heal people in many aspects of life. If you’re a survivor of sexual abuse or have sexual-related trauma, tantric sex helps you connect with the parts of yourself that you’re ashamed or scared of. What once seemed like a task or a punishment can be transformed into something beautiful again. You’re able to heal yourself spiritually and so, heal sexually as well.
A Small Guide To Tantric Sex With Your Partner
If you and your partner have been wanting to explore the wonderful world of tantric sex, here are a few tips that can help you get started!
Have A Safe Space: Having a safe space is integral to enlightening your sexual experience. Most women can’t reach orgasm if they don’t feel like they’re in a safe space or feel connected to their partners. Sex is an exchange of divine energy and should be regarded with the same respect. If your body is a temple, the meeting of two bodies should truly be celebrated as a ritual. So, pick a space you and your partner are both comfortable with, clean up, dim the lights, light some candles and incense, play some soothing music and let the night take you on a blissful journey. Make sure you silence your phones and other distractions so you can really be present in the moment. You can even shower together beforehand to really amp up the sexual energy!
Start With “Eye Gazing: Before you get started, remember that sex starts way before sex starts. Start off by sitting facing each other and look deeply into each other's eyes. The eyes are the windows into the soul, and often, just looking into each other's eyes can help you understand what your partner needs. This may feel slightly awkward at first, but resist the urge to break eye-contact and see what wonders await you after! Holding hands is ideal for energy transfer, and so is synchronized breathing. This helps you both relax and get on the same wavelength.
Form A “Circuit”: Create a circuit that connects you and your partner. Place your right hand on your partner’s heart and your left hand on your own. Have your partner do the same with you. This will help you feel each other’s heartbeats and form a circuit that brings them on the same rhythm as you. You’ll be able to feel love and affection just overflowing from both your bodies, while the circuit physically and spiritually connects you both.
Foreplay Is Key: Once you’ve established a wholesome connection with your partner, you can move on to physical foreplay to increase the sexual energy surrounding you both. Kiss each other with intention and passion. Tantric massage is a great way to amp up the sexual energy too.
Take It Slow, It’s Not A Race: Make sure to go as far as you are comfortable. Tantric sex isn’t all about penetration. It’s about mutual comfort and understanding, so you must speak with your partner about the expectations for the session. If you want to have penetrative sex, start with the yab-yum position, which represents the divine connection of the penetrative masculine (Shiva) and receptive feminine (Shakti) energies. Sexuality is fluid, and so each partner can be either role; the energy isn’t “gender-based”. In this position, the penetrative partner has to sit cross-legged while the receptive partner will sit in their lap with their legs wrapped around their lower back. Apart from this, you can explore many positions and even introduce toys and lube into your session! Stay mindful during, and move with slow and purposeful motions while breathing deeply.
Try Edging: As we’ve established already, tantric sex isn’t just about orgasms. In fact, with tantric practices, you don’t even have to orgasm at all. It’s about the connection you make with your partner rather than the end goal. If you want to last a while and make the pleasure run for longer, try edging. Allow you and your partner to reach the brink of orgasm, and then hold off on the actual climax. You can do this multiple times, and it helps you understand each other’s bodies better. With edging, you’re both in control of each other’s release, and this can lead to having very intense orgasms.
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby! You’re now aware of tantric sex and how it can help liberate you and your partner sexually. If you crave more intimacy and wish to bring out the divine sexual god/goddess in you, contact our tantric therapist at The Art of the Bed Chamber. We’ll help you and your partner reach multiple orgasmic bliss!
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